Phron Weekly #3: Master Negotiations with Open-ended Questions

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to the third edition of Phron Weekly! This week's review explores how we can redefine success by reflecting on personal values and mastering the art of negotiation through the power of open-ended questions.

Reflections and Growth

Maya Angelou was a resilient and empowering American civil rights activist, poet, and memoirist. During the civil rights movement of the 1960s, she was a prominent voice for African American women and marginalized communities. Her work primarily addressed identity, self-worth, and overcoming adversity.

She said this week's quote during a 2001 interview with USA Today. The context of the conversation was regarding how people often chase external measures of success and fail to find happiness or satisfaction. Angelou's quote resonated with me because I frequently revisit my definition of success in my life and activities. I often revisit this definition to ensure that my work toward success aligns with my beliefs.

Maya suggests that holistic success is composed of three parts:

• Liking yourself - You have intrinsic worth and value. You feel secure in yourself without needing external forms of validation. Liking yourself is often overlooked.
• Liking what you do - You find joy and purpose in the things you do. We can do many things with our time, so what we choose to do is important. Our choice should be something that we find meaning and value in.
• Liking how you do your work - You maintain integrity and authenticity. The way you work is true to yourself and your values.

This framework for success brings attention to ourselves and our values. While the concept of 'liking' is abstract, I encourage you to tap into your natural reactions in these areas. These reactions will tell you more about yourself. Use this knowledge to ensure fulfillment and authenticity and align our work with our values.

Your Next Move

This week, consider your definition of success. Is your definition based on external measures or internal measures? Which measure do you value more and why? Is your reason good enough? Spend time considering your definition of success and your assumptions behind it.

Business Insights

Negotiation Mastery: Asking the Right Questions

Have you ever considered what AI says about the best negotiation tactic? I recently came across an article reviewing research by a team that analyzed 61,057 speech turns from hundreds of negotiation interactions (link to research). In short, they found that out of all the factors they measured, from how much a person smiled to their talking speed, the greatest predictor of success was the number of open-ended questions negotiators asked.

It may come as a surprise to some that asking open-ended questions is the best strategy in negotiation. You may believe that the key to getting what you want lies in winning the counterpart with influence. While this is true to some extent, this research suggests that making informed proposals is the most important factor.

Making informed proposals relies on your understanding of your counterpart. They found that open-ended questions generated responses that were twice as long as close-ended questions. These longer responses provide insight into the counterpart's position, interests, and complaints. By asking open-ended questions, we can get our counterparts to reveal information about what they care about. After we know what they value, we can make an attractive offer. And the best part? The research found that the gains achieved from this tactic were not at the expense of the other but instead formed mutually beneficial agreements.

So, how do we practice using more open-ended questions? Questions that start with “What” or “How” are two types of open-ended questions that I suggest using:

• “How” questions - These questions tend to generate positive sentiments but less detailed responses. An example may begin with “How important is it to you that…”
• “What” questions - These questions balance positive and neutral sentiments while gathering information. I find these to be the best. An example may begin with “What are you willing…”
• And maybe the occasional “Why” question - These questions generate a negative sentiment but often elicit longer, more detailed responses that can reveal useful information. Using “why” questions is tricky, and I wouldn't suggest using them until you feel comfortable using the previous two.

Practice reframing: transforming your close-ended questions into open-ended questions. For example, instead of asking, “Is this the best price you can offer,” ask, “What flexibility do you have on the pricing?” I found that it takes practice and habit-building to shift your close-ended questions into open-ended ones. Work the open-ended questions into your conversation and balance inquiry with relationship-building for optimal results.

Finally, preparing some open-ended questions ahead of time can be a powerful tactic. Ahead of a negotiation, prepare five open-ended questions to understand your counterpart's needs and constraints.

Some action steps for you:

• Become aware of how often you use open-ended questions versus close-ended questions when negotiating.
• Practice shifting your close-ended questions into open-ended questions. You may notice a bonus of being a better conversationalist.

Fun Fact: Did you know that sloths can survive falls from over 100 feet?! Their bodies are designed to withstand large falls, and when males compete for a mate, they often try to knock their opponent off of the tree!