How to Lead Your Life: Creating a Personal Mission Statement

When was the last time you thought about leading your life, not just managing it? In a world of influence, how do we ensure that we live according to our values and not someone else's? This article will explore the concept of personal leadership through the creation of a mission statement.

The Problem: Life Without Leadership

In his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey suggests that there are two creations to everything. The first creation is a script, while the second is the running of the script. Scripts are a set of beliefs, values, attitudes, and habits that guide our behavior. Before anything we do, we carry a set of beliefs and attitudes towards what we are doing. Our action is then carried out in a way that is aligned with those values.

For example, imagine two friends playing a board game. The first friend, Friend 1, is competitive and plays to win. The second, Friend 2, is friendlier and plays to spend quality time with Friend 1. They both carry different scripts for playing the game. Once the game starts, they begin to act out their scripts. Friend 1 is serious when playing and strictly watches the rules. Friend 2 is looser with their decisions and lets Friend 1 fix their mistakes to keep the game going. Friend 1 is happy if they win and upset if they lose. Friend 2 is pleased if they have a good time and upset if they don't. Notice that each friend cares most about their ability to succeed based on their script.

This example reveals a common pitfall. Those who are determined to succeed often focus on improving the second creation of everything - their ability to successfully run the script they hold. However, before focusing on execution, we must ensure our beliefs align with our values. This realization is a powerful tool that can guide us towards a more meaningful and fulfilling life and ensure we don't fall into the efficiency trap.

The Efficiency Trap: Why Progress Doesn't Always Mean Success

Steven Covey has a fitting analogy to describe the efficiency trap. Imagine that we are part of a team cutting through a forest. The cutters are on the ground, rapidly chopping through the forest. Some time passes, and the navigator takes a second and climbs up a tree. He takes a look and yells down, "Wrong forest!" The cutters, attached with their progress, reply, "Shut up, we are making progress." Most of us are like the cutters. We get caught up in making progress in whatever forest we are in without considering if we're in the correct one. I'm advocating for a shift of focus from management to leadership, as we must ensure our work is in the right direction. Many people realize they've had the wrong focus only after many years – commonly called life "crises." We must be proactive, have better personal leadership, and set a direction aligned with our values to ensure our hard work is meaningful. To better understand this idea, we'll explore the different centers we hold in our lives.

Life Centers: Understanding Your Core Script

Steven Covey points out how we each hold a core script: the primary lens through which we view the world. This script is the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power:

• Security is where you get your sense of worth and identity. I like to think of it as inverse: the vulnerabilities each center holds. The vulnerabilities are things outside of my control that can make me insecure.
• Guidance - It is your source of direction in life - the driver of your decisions.
• Wisdom - It is your perspective in life. The way you experience the world and connect ideas.
• Power - It is your ability and capacity to act.

Covey highlights how these four factors are interdependent. When these four factors are empowered by each other, they can be a vital force for a noble personality and balanced character. To illustrate, let's break down some common centers we all may have had:

• Money-centered - While this is known to have its pitfalls with relationships, many people, including myself, can sometimes have this center. Your security relies on your net worth. If your net worth drops, your feelings of worth drop. You are guided by profit. You see the world through the lens of money. Your power is limited to what you can accomplish with your money.
• Family-centered - This center may seem noble, but it still has downsides. Your security is based on family acceptance and fulfilling family expectations. You are also vulnerable to views of your family's reputation. You are guided by what is suitable for the family or what the family wants. You see the world in terms of your family, embodying a form of family narcissism. Your power is limited to your family's traditions.
• Friend-centered - This center is common amongst younger individuals. Your security is highly dependent on the opinion of others and is a function of a social mirror. You are guided based on what you think others will think of you. You see the world through the lens of your friends. Your power is limited by your social comfort zone.

If you are interested, you can explore many other centers in Covey's book. Each center has its own drawbacks. I focus on each center's security, as that largely influences the other factors. Suppose my sense of worth is in jeopardy. I will act to alleviate that tension without much consideration of long-term consequences. This is our natural reaction, and we must be careful about our source of security. So what is the best center? A principle center allows us to center our lives on timeless principles, creating a foundation for the development of the four factors:

• Our security is based on correct principles - universal truths that guide fruitful living regardless of external circumstances.
• We are guided by a compass that enables us to proactively determine the best decision.
• We see the world through a timeless lens for effective living.
• Our power is only limited by our understanding of natural law, correct principles, and their natural consequences (which is what we're trying to better with this blog).

As we search deep within ourselves, we begin to realign our core beliefs with correct principles, creating an empowering center and clear lens through which we see the world.

Mission Statement: Writing Your Own Script

A mission statement is our personal life script — a script that we write ourselves and is aligned with our authentic inner values. By creating this script, we take control over the first creation of our life, enabling us to live effectively. So, how do we make this statement? It's a daunting task. How are we supposed to know how we want to live our lives? Victor Frankl offers a compelling perspective to help us create this document.

Frankl says that we detect rather than invent our life's mission. We must search within ourselves to discover our life's mission. We cannot logically make up a mission statement or copy and go with it. This statement requires deep introspection, careful deliberation, and exploration to find what truly matters to you. There are a couple of steps that you can take to help you tap into your values.

The first step is to use visualization to create situations that make you look at life from another angle. These situations allow you to consider how you would reflect on your life and what you would have done. Your values will express themselves in your desires, regrets, and appreciation. I often imagine what I would think if I were on my deathbed three years from now, a decade from now, when I'm 60, and so on. I consider if I was proud of the way I lived, what I would've wished I had invested more time in, and who I was. These questions allow me to tap into my values to create my personal script.

Another effective situation is imagining attending your funeral. Covey mentions this visualization in his book. It is another practical approach that taps into the ego. Imagine that you are at a funeral three years from now. You imagine the venue and the somber attendees, and you walk up to the casket and look in. Inside, it's you! This is your funeral. At the funeral, there are speakers from all the different circles in your life. Your family, friends, work colleagues, interest groups, religious groups, and even locals you didn't know well. What do you want each group to say about who you were as a person? What do you want them to say about your accomplishments?

I suggest you go through these situations and think of any others that work best for you. Birthday milestones are another excellent example. Focus on creating a vivid situation in your imagination, making it feel real. Then, assess your feelings. How does looking back at your life one way make you feel? Ask yourself questions to dig deeper. You will notice themes across situations reflecting your values, enabling you to create your script.

The second step is to journal. I have tried to do these exercises in my head, but they don't reach their full potential without writing. Journaling forces you to make your thoughts cohesive enough to write a sentence. It gives your thoughts form. You will also find that you will naturally fill in the page as you write, leading to further discovery. I highly encourage you not to skip this step.

Finally, we must create our mission statement. The statement can be written any way you like, as it is your script. To make my mission statement, I followed one of the examples in Covey's book. The example starts with a one-sentence statement that encapsulates your life mission. This sentence is helpful as it forces you to be clear on your mission. The second section includes some virtues you find most important in accomplishing your mission. You should limit yourself to no more than five virtues in order to focus on the ones that are the most important and applicable. The last section is about your roles in life: the relationships you hold with people, animals, and the world. Write each role down, then describe what type of person you want to be when embodying the role. Below is my personal mission:

My mission is to live with integrity, reach my potential, and empower the strengths and beauty in the universe.

To fulfill this mission:

• I inspire - I serve as a light, not a judge
• I am present - I appreciate the moment
• I am responsible - I have openness, courage, and readiness to make the most of everything

These roles take priority in achieving my mission:

• Scholar - I learn new things every day
• Athlete - I explore the potential of the body
• Son/Brother - I am there for my family
• Friend - I uplift and share an experience
• Human - I love and find beauty in everything

The mission statement serves as your personal constitution. It is timeless and holds the principles that will guide your life. After careful consideration, create it and follow it. Revisit it from time to time and make amendments when necessary. We grow as life progresses and learn new things that affect our mission. If you follow these steps, you will begin to live your life effectively.

My Experience: Living By My Mission

I finally decided to create my mission in the summer of 2023. I went through the visualization and then landed on the creation of my mission. Initially, I was shy about the mission and what people would think about it. I thought people would think I was a hypocrite if they didn't think I lived according to it. I realized that it takes humility to realign yourself and start again. You have to own up to being distracted and working towards the wrong goal. I eventually forced myself to put it on my lock screen as a reminder: it's like I am carrying my mission with me. People began to notice, and it was received positively. I saw it was inspiring and began to share it more. Following itself was another problem.

In theme with this blog, knowing your values is only half the battle. You also must act in accordance with them. Covey suggests planning your schedule by weeks to ensure you spend enough time in each area. With my work and responsibilities, it is difficult for me to go ahead and plan out my week and stick to it. I struggled to follow my mission and balance all of the roles important to me. My attempt at success in one area consumed time in another area. I started to mentally review my week, reflecting on the areas I neglected, and made an effort to spend more time there. The area tended to be my family, as I was young and ambitious and thought that right now, I should focus on my career. I realized that my mission is what I value the most, and while thinking long-term and sacrifice is necessary, I must uphold my values. I started spending more time with my family and became more character-focused rather than results-focused. There are times when I want results and people hold me back, but then I remind myself who I am is most important. Emotions and distractions get in the way and can convince you otherwise, but you must stay disciplined with your actions. In addition to my personal success, I have also found success in my teams and organizations applying this concept.

A great example was when I was my college tennis team captain at Swarthmore College. In my second year as captain, I led the team through an exercise to create a team mission statement. The mission helped keep the team focused on the principles that would lead to success rather than trying to directly control the results. The results spoke for themselves. After the creation, we won our first conference championship (and won again the year after). While the team was already on an upward trajectory, the mission united and drove us to a collective success. We continued to break records and reach new heights each year. To my knowledge, the team still uses that same mission statement.

Reflect & Act

Knowledge gains its value through action. Apply what you learned about personal leadership and mission statements to your own life. Here are my suggested action steps for you:

• If you don't already have a mission statement, allocate some time next week to go through the three steps to create one.
• Print out your mission statement or make it your phone background to bring it to life.
• Reflect on the centers that currently guide your life (e.g., money, family, friends). Write down the advantages and vulnerabilities of these centers. How have they influenced your decisions, and where have they held you back?
• For the next week, track how you spend your time and assess whether your actions align with the values and mission you want to embody. Are there areas that need more focus or balance?